Duck Duck Cougar?
Looks like an M-80 went off in a lb. of pastrami
We were hooking up and you crawled into bed with us, because you had lost your phone and didn't "want to be alone at a time like this."
i keep seeing random pieces of my outfit all around town.
He came in asked for the bathroom and came out 10 minutes later dripping wet took his redbull and left.
bad decision 37: pregaming the antique store
yeah I'm sure your grandparents are the best but it's halloween. get a slutty costume and let's go ham.
I would compare it to a jeffrey but in smoothie form. More drugs in here than Bobby Brown's sock drawer.
you pulled down your pants to convince a girl you were god
I CAN CONTROL MY GERBIL WITH MY BREATH. HE FOLLOWS THE SMELL. PROBABLY WOULDNT BE AS EXCITING IF I WASNT HIGH OFF MY ASS, BUT STILL
pooping with feet up on an ottoman about level with the toilet is nice
You gave me your shirt to use as a napkin every time I spilled beer on myself. Before we went to the bar.
He didn't have much of a personality. But I had like 100 orgasms, so that's cool.
Guess who just hooked up with a guy who was wearing a shirt from his mom's "dress up closet"?!
I’m excited to finally meet my stalkee and his penis!
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