it was nice. we just kind of hung out. she didnt even mention the farting incident.
is it bad that i have made the decision to never travel to vienna simply because of that transvestite that won the bachelor?
dont start drinking without me
Remember that amazing deer? You peed next to that dear..
Just thought you should know that your brother tried to febreeze his floors with cooking spray last night.
Ill give you a 4 hour blow job if you make my nephew go to bed.
Homeboy was juggling while taking bong rips. Of course he got laid.
These are all good points. But, I think your under estimating what it's like to be held upside down for a standing 69
He also ordered me a vibrator last week, so the flowers kind of balance it out
10 shots in she's sitting on the floor using the open dishwasher door as a plate to eat her "life giving" pizza.
when i woke up with 300+ messages I didn't except them to be about coyotes and burning shoes.
1) break up with him. 2) feel bad. 3) fuck some other guy. 4) feel better. Boom! Life plan. You're welcome.
I'm not too sure what happened last night, but by the looks of it, we must have gotten drunk with zebras.
Okay she just told me to turn the volume down on the fan. What does this even mean?
I like how I can go from sucking dick in the my basement to singing along to veggie tales with my family in a span of 10 minutes.
And somehow in between all the vomitting you managed to mumble "Well this is attractive!" And I swear that's when I fell in love. Best. First. Date. Ever!
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