Please forgive me. I will pay for your emergency room visit.
he just wrote my ten page research paper for tit pics. i love my boobs.
Europe's "the final countdown" was playing. It was pretty much amnesty for anything that might happen the rest of the night. It's a rule.
i know i should keep better track of the things that i put in your vagina but i've put so many things in there it's hard to keep track
Old men love us. For they have fine taste and disturbing minds.
Chose not to courtesy flush and the CEO huffed the result. I feel powerful.
Apparently I blacked out and started wrestling with some dude last night. Just found out I might have dislocated his shoulder. Best part: he still wants to bone me
I just want to make out with him forever
I have commenced my lesbian college experimentation. Wish me luck
Idk man there's lots of bad dick but even a bad cookie is still pretty good
We just had an accidental Facebook titty pic scare.
do you remember yelling out "insecurity makes my pussy dry!" unnecessarily loud at the bar?
I don't remember that much at all. But I guess I met this guy from New Zealand and his dog, and then I punched someone in the face.
Y’all did coke off my Puff The Magic Dragon plate.😂
i ran into the Jo the housecleaner earlier this morning. i mentioned i had a little hangover and she asked what the occasion was.. i replied "Tuesday" without thinking. she judged the shit out of me.
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