I can hear the grilled cheese talking to me. "Let me in there!" they wanna get inside me
Theres this tee in the mall and it says all girls just wanna have safe sex. U make me think thats a lie
im sober playing flip cup. its like cheating.
Someone's playing Limp Bizkit out loud on the train. I think the decade reset it self.
Still drunk just puked in the meat cooler tried to clean it up with ham. Its not working
I vomited in the sink and my bra was in there...I don't even have words to describe this hangover confusion
I puked in the revolving door and had to sit down on the escalator. That hungover. It's safe to say people are judging me.
I woke up with my bra stapled to the ceiling, her dad was in the hallway winking at me. I was the less drunk of the bunch.
I smell like Captain Morgan and tears
Just got hit on by a 50 year old Englishman who is now swapping drunken racing stories with my mom. Live Mariachi band in the background. How's that for a wake?
Well, we could've been at the bar taking a shot everytime my rash spread. But Noooooo. You had to go out with your non- girlfriend. Lame.
he stopped talking to me, quit his job, moved out of the province and then told me it was "no big" when I called him apologizing...
I'm developing all these feelings it's disgusting.
Marrying her is the worst scenario of any. That includes death and zombies.
You're going to find someone that you love very much and that loves you, and then you're gonna find an additional person that you literally can't stop staring at from across the room. I feel very confidently about that
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