MY DOG FOUND A BAG OF COKE ON THE SIDE OF THE ROAD!!!!!!!!!!!
AND ITS GOOD STUFF TOO!!!!!! AHHH!!!!!!
I joined a mariachi band. they gave me a guitar because i told them i could play. It actually turned out ok
They kicked me out of the mariachi band. Turns out I'm not that good
this girl is like a spa retreat for my dick
Can you explain to me how i got kicked out of a bar last night, from outside the bar?
well other than the faint smell of fireworks in the truck you can't really tell the windshield was exploded
I sent him a pic of my tits and he said "Word." I need a drink.
I think I just wrote a poem about your penis but it was totally unintentional.
Imma do me. And by that, I mean I'm going to walk across campus still drunk at 9am on a Tuesday.
I'm missing a sock, a boot, and antlers. We need to get on that.
Are there any rules against fucking the hot TA?
Maybe for her....
Her problem, not mine
I'm gonna take a crap in the portashitter like a civilized human being.
I might run out into oncoming traffic. Id rather break my legs and/or die then continue with today.
It is not a successful senior year unless you show up to campus without pants at least once, right?
I tried to think of the best possible thing I could do for my 30th birthday, and the finalist is "get a clit ring"
No dude shes like 5 feet tall and maybe 100 pounds... Normally i wouldnt be scared but someone gave her a bat. Thats why im in the bathroom
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