You took my girl thats shot the Fuck out. You better watch your skinny ass.
That's barely a sentence. Who's your girl? I think you've got the wrong number. I haven't even lived in Alabama for 4 years.
Yeah, I do, I'm sorry. I meant 205 not 256. sorry about that.
Good luck with your revenge in Birmingham.
Learned a lot. Like boys with frosted tips still exist. And that they're sensitive to constructive criticism.
I will give everyone a free pointer today. Here it goes, always pee by the house late at night to avoid getting shot by drunk bastards with guns. Never go by the tree line.
i perioded on his leg
on. his. leg.
I puked for half an hour, but I went and danced afterwards, and that made me feel better.
You are so irish.
Preparing for wine wednesday. How would you feel about improvising and starting a white russian wednesday tomorrow instead? you know, shake things up a bit.
My mouth holds just enough water for my bong
Ladystoner tip: if eyes are bloodshot, lime green eyeliner makes them appear less red. its basic artt.
we didn't have anything to do and wanted to get our money's worth out of our costumes, so if you see two mermaids day drinking by the creek it's us
I just saw a fat girl roll down the steps taking out three people with her, thought you should know.....
i threw up in his garden in front of like five people smoking a joint. they let me have a hit after i was done so it was okay
Next time I take edibles I'm getting chipotle to cater the event
My kid made a secret wish that you have a baby... Make good choices today!
Today, I lack passion for anything but Taco Tuesday.
So congratulations, your penis has now sent me to urgent care not once, but twice!
Randomize
