Important detail I forgot to tell you: leprechaun loves david bowie.
Yeah sketchy neighborhood.. Some woman ran by screaming, "i didn't steal anything" as some cops rolled up and arrested her.
I'm in the line at the airport trying not to vomit on the person in front of me. Happy Tuesday.
do you think theyll let us bring mariachis to the strip club?
I'll report later on the progress of the mountain orgy
my head hurts. i need an adult
and not like a cool parent adult. like a full fledged party pooper grandparent adult
I'm convinced that college is the only place where one can have an existential crisis over what sweatpants to wear
He put his hand in my cleavage. NOT ON. IN. BETWEEN. NO more gingers
This makes me appreciate being single with no prospects.
go for it girl, the world is ur dick oyster
He's petting your head, we need to leave now.
Just found out my dad smokes weed too. Mom, grandma, all aunts and uncles, and now my dad too. It's like I'm genetically engineered to be a stoner.
I am beginning to doubt your commitment to my making poor choices tonight
She's chasing the cat around the house hitting it with a cardboard sword yelling "there can be only one!"
We left an ass print on the conference room table, but I don’t think anyone caught on
Randomize
