So its not gay if you have sex with another woman and its academic
so what if I'm having sex with a woman for recreation?
Thats gay
i took some ambien and I TRIPPED out...i went into my mom's room to say goodnight and i don't remember anything...she said that i got really pissed at her because we were living in the Keebler elf tree and she was visiting other trees, then i started laughing hysterically and she goes "whats so funny?" and i go "there are 7 people sitting on my knees" and she goes "doesn't that hurt?" and i said "no we're sitting in a bowl" and then i capped it off and said "join the crazy train bro" and passed out.
Last night is one of those stories you hear about on 20/20 right after they make a law banning 90% if what I did.
i just walked by a road side game of beer pong? it's gonna be a long day
on the bus. saw a kid get off at a red light, puke on the sidewalk, and get back on.
last night i found out that my 11 year old cousin used me as an example of what not to do in her D.A.R.E. speech. awesome.
did you know that snuggie is the perfect anti-freak out aid for stoners? it weighs you down so you can't go anywhere. just sit there and enjoy the movie, that's right.
West Wing DVD drinking game: drink whenever they waqlk around a lot. I LOVE POLITICS SO MUCH
So hungover. Sitting in class about to puke during this ladys flute performance. Not sure why were having a flute concert in biology
Theres was an instant understanding between us being drunk on the trampoline at four in the morning and the people walking down the road at the same time
I elbow dropped a bag of ice to break it so we could make margaritas. I bled everywhere. Be proud.
When his Irish accent comes out my uterus hums. Or some productive organ down there, I'm not sure of the logistics
Yes I have a handle on life. A handle of Svedka.
my vagina hasn't met your boyfriend yet ... makes me sad
Hypothetically speaking...if I was arrested in Wisconsin, say Kenosha county, would you post my bail all the way from Oregon? If yes, will you also accept my collect call in t-minus 13 hours?
Randomize
