I told a kindergarten student that candy canes are bones of reject elves.
p.s. you have a small clit
YOU ARE THE MOST AWKWARD PERSON ALIVE.
yah I made NO friends last night. at one point i think i replaced talking with spitting
I saw an Asian dude carrying a patchwork denim purse get into a car with two rednecks at the grocery store tonight. Imagine what I could have seen if I had actually done something interesting.
2am update: i think I'm in Mexico but I found a dennys. Everyone but this cute family of 4 is speaking Spanish. Cute family of 4 is helping me out.
He gave me a promise ring. He promised that he will imagine me as every girl he fucks in college.
we did it on the golf course and he threw the condom in the pond. some poor fish is gonna choke on it
the two person party stopped when i realized that he tried to throw a hammer at my head.
congratulations to me i think I am on the road to legitimate alcoholism
cool. same. I'm in class drinking
NOT OKAY
sorry for partying
THATS NOT PARTYING THATS DRINKING IN CLASS
somehow he and i always have our deepest conversations after phone sex.
I blew him while he was standing up and he drooled on my head
As he was cumming he yelled "Yahtzee" then said im free to go. Thats my one night stand
It felt like I was on painkillers mixed with Molly mixed with the sinking feeling I'll die alone. 10/10 doing again.
Taking out my recycling and 90% of it is alcohol and cat food. I am judging myself.
My vagina cried when he left. I think she's about to be at war with my self respect.
Randomize
