my drunken desire to be gossip girl continues to ruin friendships for me
i am not allowed to pick the men i sleep with anymore
It was like a little tadpole swimming in the big ocean.
my history teacher totally just suggested that we record his lectures and play drinking games with them later so that we pay attention to the material.
No, I stopped taking my meds because I like crazy me better
It was one of those "since we're naked anyway" type situations
His penis was definitely too big to be the type that wants commitment. Shit.
I miss vodka workout Fridays
I planned on emotionally scarring him for life this weekend. DAMN YOU PERIOD!
I just passed a truck with its bed lined with a tarp and filled with water with six dudes chilling in the back driving through campus. That looks fun.
I just remembered that i did pull ups in a bikini on the porch of Red Lobster last night. someone needs to stage an intervention
I just want a man to crawl into my bed with me and never crawl out. Anti socialism at his best.
He initiated the conversation by sending me a picture of his penis at 4 am
I don't want to date him...I just want him to cheat on his girlfriend with me.
We left an ass print on the conference room table, but I don’t think anyone caught on
Randomize
