Dont worry, she is sitting right next to me. She is making it clear she wants to scissor
Girls are like M&M's, once the lights go out you can't tell the difference.
she said your name and I thought she was asking me to motorboat her. Best. Miscommunication.Ever.
Its like im going on a blind date, but ive already had sex with her
i don't even want to say how many boners i've caused this week
It smells like ranch
Must be all the white people
One night stand. Woke up at her dad's house. She already left for work. Shit's about to go down.
He just sent me a winky face in the middle of setting up a drug deal. You don't do that.
he's drinking beer at home in his underwear tonight and if you want to come over the dresscode is underwear only. And you have to bring beer.
Did you get my bra back of the bartender?
I seriously think we need to revision your idea of 'keeping a low profile'
you were leaning up against the wall pulling your shirt up asking girls to dance on you. your courage to do that is both admirable and frightening.
My brain is like scrambled eggs. If scrambled eggs were trying to escape out of my skull through my forehead.
I may be going to Mexico. I just met a drug dealer at a strip club. Seems legit.
oh so have I but I'd still suck a dick or 20 in the name of freedom.
Wait are we really having an orgy on Tuesday?
Randomize
