You did that once after drunk driving from a photo shoot
That was very cool/italian of you
Which brings me to my next point, how come italians are so well adapted to drunk driving
sitting in my room eating a boneless rib tv dinner, and listening to taylor swift's love story, and i sharted. had to finish the ribs and hear the end of the song before i went to the bathroom to wipe.
I decided you couldn't drive after you asked where the time circuits were on your Altima
I wanted to see November 5, 1985
It's not called being bisexual its called making out with anyone that has a mouth
that's like riding a pigeon when you could fuck a bald eagle
For the amount I put out, I should be going on way more dates.
And if not, hey- I've never had a restraining order before, so that will be cool
It could be our claim to fame
Done. I'll pack a cooler.
Dangr zzzzzzzzone
Plans for halloween need to outrank Caesar, Cleopatra and Mark Antony's threesome...just saying
He put oyster crackers in his ramen noodles. Is that a thing? Because holy shit I had never thought of it before and if it's not a thing he's my new stoner hero for discovering it.
lets do drugs on my lunch break tomorrow
He called me saying he got nice rims for his car so now we can fuck in style
I got so high that I ate a protein bar while in the shower. I then proceeded to leave half the protein bar and the wrapper on the ledge in my shower. Haha oh well.
just saw a kid waiting at the door of the stairs for the elevator. there is no elevator in this building. get on his level.
Hey, um, after thinking about it, I decided I really don't want to use applying olive oil to your ass for your fissure as part of foreplay because... well... really? Just read that again.
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