I felt like helen keller
But she could have totally found that shit before me
Don't come here someone got drunk and rolled the keg to buger king. no more beeer
If it makes you feel any better I'm plucking my mustahce and drinking. Alone.
the $50 fast cash from checking button should just be retitled "8th of weed"
I just added her as a friend on Facebook. I met her 5 minutes ago and there are already more than 50 pics of me uploaded... from other nights.
Don't remember much from last night, but I recall slipping you the tounge. For that I apologize
i like how i just referred to his pregnant wife as the "other" melissa and you didn't even judge me.
stuck in the elevator with that hot guy from the 3rd flood. Worried he can smell my spray tan and desperation
In order of importance: Where am I? Where's my car? Where are my clothes? Who is this chick in the room?
Anne's couch, the bar, your car, Anne.
They seemed upset when they walked out and saw a penis in a mouth
I knew it would be an interesting night when he showed up at my house on a scooter wearing a six foot american flag as a cape.
25 likes of a picture on Instagram of my butthole. beat that.
Her neighbors? They're nice. Young family. Tried not to get puke on their side of the lawn.
I think my pickup truck has been used for the sex... This doesn't sit right with me.
I’ve got full Covid immunity, blonde hair and great tits! I’m basically unstoppable
Randomize
