I have found the one flaw to the great pride I took as a guy to not have to sit down to pee...having to sneeze while peeing.
My booty call said shes done doing the walk of shame. Wtf is that?
It's what anyone that sleeps with you, specifically, does when they leave. Some do it even when they just think of you.
If it was for sex do you really think i would asking for a mass vote? I'm like fidel castro when it comes to sex. No public approval needed.
I swear they were about to hook up!!
I know because I was in the tub taking an imaginary silent bath. They stopped cuz I gagged on my shot.
His search history includes homemade sex toys and a plunger. I'm scared about what goes on in their place.
Am I really in your phone as Asshole Jesus??
She only fucks to metal. I don't know whether to marry her or run for the hills.
Cant really say how it happened but i woke up in the middle of the night and somehow pissed all over connors dad
BTW car sex works all the muscle groups. Just sayin. Legs/butt are sore as are arms, back and core.
He just texted me a video of him jerking off. He must really be looking forward to the Super Bowl.
We're listening to drake in the middle of the woods and smoking two joints at once...my life is complete.
I now know he's been cheating for a while. I also know HER name, address, phone number, Facebook account, religion and zodiac sign. I feel like I'm earning my restraining order. Point is, never fuck over a librarian.
what do you mean he's functionally heterosexual
just answer this one ? for me. why is there human shit in my shower right now?
I didn't expect the hobit to have that much sexual tension.
Randomize
