Saw a Delta Zeta recruitment poster today. On it, somebody added, "All you need is your daddy's credit card and a lack of self-respect."
he made me stop in the middle of the blowjob to turn the tv towrds him. i then proceeded when he stopped me again to get him the remote. fuck me.
If Jimminey Cricket were here with me he would be so disappointed.
if you think for one second that i'm not using my mittens as hand puppets at the bar tonight then u dont know me at all!
His mom took away his car and made him quit his job.
HE'S 26!!!
Do you know how hard it is to get cum out of a straw hat!?
You're just horny.
Yea, and? I appreciate you as a person too if that helps.
What!? It's 7:30am on gameday. This keg is not going to drink itself.
Holy shit, I wanna ride him into the horizon.
When my beach tent arrives , I strongly suggest quitting our jobs and becoming homeless beach drunks
Currently having to re-watch episodes of Lost that I've only partially seen because you distracted me with your vagina
just called AAA to get my keys out of me car and then afterwards realized they were in my pocket...stoner life
I told him I had the birth control implant in my arm and he looked me in the eyes, said "Science!" and came in me
just got back. in my inebriated state i broke an ugly lamp and was sent to the store (still drunk) to get a new one. just spent last half hour in isle 3 of dollar general surounded by more ugly lamps and trying not to throw up on each and every single one.
Shame is for Republicans.
Randomize
