I have this horrible feeling I'm going to blackout tonight & only be able to say 'wasabi bobby' over & over again.
Having your wife answer your cell was so lame. Maybe we can talk when you get your phone, your facebook account, and your balls back.
Goal for tonight: Make one last drunken mistake for the semester.
if you google earth my address you can see me getting out of my car. finally my moment of being famous
Is there a technical name for reverse cowgirl? I'm trying to maintain a little dignity with my mother here
If it looks really sketchy and smells like burnt pizza and pot you're in the right place
Bro, he broke his neck diving into a kiddy pool.
Whoa, I am aware of WAY too many squirrels right now...
It felt like a sumo wrestler slapped me. With a wet hand. 8 times in a row.
Got home. All the lights were on. All the doors were unlocked. My room was covered in beads, there's puke in the sink and of course our toilet is still broke. I'd say it was a decent Mardi Gras
I just put on underwear fresh outta the dryer and it's like tiny Angels are giving them warm supportive hugs all over
just because you have a nice tits it doesn't make you a magic little snowflake.
i'm 99% sure they had an orgy while i was passed out
I'm not gonna plow a chick in front of her 14 year old brother....
tell me about the eggs
Randomize
