guy in front of me on the bus did 12 yrs, hes teling me about how to knife fight
Apparently senior citizens don't like that position
Well we didn't hook up. Maybe from his girlfriend's point of view, but not mine.
I'm going to make an art book filled with pics of me peeing in every bar bathroom I've ever been in. Dedicating it to you. You're welcome.
I called for backup and had two guys carry him to the shower. The bigger guy offered to wash his hair.
I tried to tell her I've only slept with 3 other people...she then named off 5 of her sorority sisters I fucked and asked me if she should continue
I am both excited and frightened by the fact that this much everclear is legal here. Best vacation ever.
What is this nonsense on the table
Your idea.
I mean the hole taco that was chewed up and spit out
This isn't just a hangover. I can feel the blood moving through my veins, and it hurts.
I WOKE UP IN A FUCKING DOG BED HOW DO YOU THINK I FEEL
This chick had a condom box organized by size with dividers that glowed in the dark.
It's 1am and I'm on LSD and I have diarrhea in a Dunkin Donuts. Help me
He was telling me how he was trying to grow up. And then 2 minutes later, he told me he was tripping on lsd for the first time.
That song just makes me wanna take off my top and shake my titties all around the club.
I sent her a dick pic and used brett Favre's dick pick. She asked me why I had pictures of old men's dicks saved on my phone... I just can't win bro
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