I mean I found and stalk his moms facebook.. that obsessed.
bring money and cleavage
So the bros are yelling at another bro to get that dildo off the roof. And there is indeed a dildo looking object on the roof.
So yeah you need to stop having near death experiences at McDonalds.
So the first 4 hours of my morning was equivalent to seeing under water. Things were starting to get better until I remember I drank mustard for free stuff and flossed my teeth with a strand of hair from a stranger in the bathroom.
If kinky sex was an Olympic sport they would be playing the anthem for me as we speak.
Well I talked to some Canadians today, and I'm keeping a vigilant watch for sharks, so I'm pretty booked up.
I wish I was there to have sex with you on the plane to lessen your anxiety.
That's the nicest thing anyone has over said to you.
I saw a groundgog last night outside my back door. I now have a new wedding gift idea.
I mean I'm so obviously classy currently laying in bed watching a movie while finishing my drink from last night
Brb crying the tears of my youth
How'd your Tinder date go?
Well, I met his girlfriend...
Taco Bell is giving high school kids free tacos STEAL YOUR BROTHER'S WALLET I'LL BRING THE WEED.
No just a list of 20 of my favorite things
Where are penises on the list
Where am I on the list
Under penises
Just went to jump into bed... Completely missed the bed.
Randomize
