i just walked into a room at this party and someone yelled "dibs!"...
She's like the pied piper of lesbians.
i woke up in the fire place with a lighter in my hand. if i would have died the night would have made up for it.
is it too much to get a jumbo margarita in a sippy cup right now?
you are not perverted enough for this relationship to work out.
Okay: Whipped cream, vodka, and a trampoline. This will either be really great, or really tragic.
Had sex and ran 2.8 miles all before 7:30am. This is going to be a very productive Monday.
Hahaha it was a great moment in my life. This must be what post child birth feels like, given you don't get a combined asshole/ vagina
I'm not entirely sure what happened last night, but I think I dislocated my kneecap during an epic Mario Kart battle...
Ya, so he said he had to change before he would go to Pizza Hut because he pissed himself. He ran into his house and came back wearing a cowboy hat.........and his piss covered jeans.
Well I'm sorry but he seemed so happy being drunk at noon.
seriously though if NH has the largest penis size... the rest of America must be very disappointed.
She kept calling herself DJ McDonalds and said she wanted to make some Egg McMusic.
I just masturbated to the thought of him straight up talking to me. to us having a conversation. What the hell.
I don't know. I'm drunk and dressed as a pirate but ill do the math tomorrow morning.
I think he's an actor
That's not a good enough reason to wear guy-liner
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