Dood you jacked it to warcraft. you can't come back from something like that
No offense but you kinda look like a Jack Johnson fan in that pic
i have a dinosaur tramp stamp
Just realized after we're done pre-gaming for St. Patricks Day, we have March Madness, the first day of spring, and Easter to pre-game for. March is a great month.
Any questions about why there was a scuba tank chilling in the hot tub this morning?
What would you have done with a 40 foot neon parrot anyway?
he will always be the guy i fucked in the hallway.
I have six drafts of messages to you that just say "blood" and I have no idea where they came from.
I keep telling myself last night was not real, not real, not real. Then I remember I can't move. This hangover is too fucking real.
dude you said you were going to be a human flag and climbed the telephone pole and fell in front of a car
He asked me if the reason I slept around is because I grew up in a broken home. I am so done fucking Christians.
It was like the devil him self busted his red hot satanic nuts all over my face and burned my eyes out of my innocent sockets.
with a cock that big I don't even care that he makes a convincing drag queen
Im watching animal planet drunk, watching a documentary on mermaids. Tonight has not gone to waste.
I really need to stop turning to the BDSM dungeon masters of tinder whenever my heart hurts
Randomize
