zippers are such a cool invention
Suite mates just came in and said that we have to go to Africa. They're already packed. Didn't know you could get that high.
He could list all of the presidents! Every one, and in order!! I was so impressed the least I could do was give him a blow job.
Ah, yes. Making our founding fathers proud.
even your uterus rejects him.
apparently my uterus is the smartest part of my body.
his penis is PERFECT
I want to put it in a shoebox and place cottonbls around it to protect it from any harm
or knit it little hat
Aaaaand I just watched him face plant in front of the taxi. This is why we don't invite him to margarita night.
Sex in the corn maze.....not as good as advertised.
Guy hitting on me at bar is guy who's Craigslist ad we laughed at the other night. Not even kidding.
I love spring semester, so many high school girls visiting that think I'm the sexiest man alive just because I'm in college
Aren't you gay?
IT'S NICE TO FEEL WANTED DON'T RUIN THIS FOR ME
Just streaked campus for a bottle of patron...maybe you're right...I might have a drinking problem...
Just got tinder matched with my COMM TA. Game on.
You sluts I'm so proud of you. You're both wearing underwear.
Dad is celebrating turning 45 by being drunk in a department store before two o'clock.
I woke up in a limo in long Island, Ny this morning. Talk about a black out
My dad just invited me to smoke a blunt with him. Parent-child bonding at its finest (and highest).
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