This is getting serious. I keep forgetting what's in my vagina.
ra ra ra ah ah
wtf?
sexting lady gaga style
drunk sex in a shower = bad idea broken arm
He said he's was gunna give me some pain meds. I'm not sure what they are but I just gave him a thumbs up
he just told me i make him happier than drugs. that's some serious shit right there
well once we started drinking vodka out of wine glasses there was no turning back
first one here with a pint of chicken lo mein, aspirin, and diet green tea ginger ale, gets a full effort bj the day after tomorrow.
Just walked into the bathroom and looked straight ahead and made eye contact with a guy taking a shit through the crack in the stall door...
and then we all passionately sang "what if god was one of us" until everyone passed out in the grass
He pushed a skinny white blonde out of the way just to tell me "you have the finest ass, like ever."
I have never loved a nerdy white boy this much.
This is my gift to your gina
i refuse to take responsibility for eating Chuck E Cheese pizza and having any other repercussions than the shits.
wait he has a twin??? which one did you fuck
yes
i found 4 slices of pizza in my toaster, and a can of unopened soup in my blender.. wtf?
I'll seduce him with my charm, after all, I am a graceful swan.
More like a demented cow.
Randomize
