Almost ran you over in the parking lot. You look good
i'm in hospital, i have an exam in 3 hours and the man in the cubicle next to me is doing a noisy poo. this has to get better.
Woke up this morning with one boob drawn on to look like the globe. Questionable?
to be honest..when i was little i used to think sharks can swim out of drains and eat people
this morning he rolled over looked at me and said "oooo, you look like i need a drink" and then put on his clothes and left without another word
you went around and groping mens pants to see "which was worthy" of you to go home with.
I smelled my fingers after she left and they smelt like sugar cookies. I want that one again.
we are cloud gazing and there is one that looks like a giant baby riding a dolphin and smoking a joint
i wish there was a reasonable explanation for why this reminds me of you
You tried to get the stranger on the sea bus to give you a bite of his chicken sub by repeating over and over "im in a girl band"
Oh, I forgot to ask if u have any idea what happened to the back of my ear and if u were present when I almost fell off the roof...
Currently bleeding through my leggings. Not good. Not good at all.
Hospital.
I am invincible.
I have the perfect view of a sexy blonde in yoga pants stretching from the shoulder press machine. I'll be here all night. So glad I came high.
Ur here with me in spirit. Now run free. Run free
It all went downhill when I figured out I could launch myself into people with my crutches
HOW THE FUCK CAN YOU NOT REMEMBER WHIPPING IT OUT AND PUTTING ON THE BAR?
By the way, you're banned for life.
YOU HAVE BEEN BAD TOUCHED BY THE LEPRECHAUN OF CHOICES
Randomize
