Are we in a gay sports bar?
so last night was fun and all.. but you might want to get tested
Hey, what are you up to?
Drinking wine with the guys and watching 7 Pounds.
Looking back I guess I could have changed that to beer and Die Hard.
Boobs. All I remember is boobs.
surprisingly enough, it isn't that uncomfortable to have sex with a heart monitor on
I think off duty cops drove me home. I may have been hitchhiking
you really cant fit homeless dj into your budget? doubles as charity
Using your ex girlfriend's little brother to pick up women at the a&p: priceless
Yeah, if you don't like strip clubs you won't like microwave chimichangas.
btw you left your chapstick on the nightstand and bruises on my body...
gifts from me to you. you're welcome.
the first cop to show up was this girl who hooked up with our home ec teacher in high school, she knows about questionable decisions
If you don't fuck me hard, rough, and senseless the minute we're alone in your room, I'm returning you to the boyfriend store
I smell like thanksgiving dinner and bad decisions. Its not even thanksgiving yet.
Just had a med school interview with that doctor I fucked in college. He remembered. Asked if I still have my nipple rings. Overall, I think it went well.
i just turned on my printer and found 10 pounds of german chocolate inside. i think i found where you hid your candy last night
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