Last night you told her she was rocking the beer gut. Still wondering why you have that black eye?
Just watched Hilary Duff have a three-some on Gossip Girl...all I could imagine was that LIzzie Maguire cartoon girl freaking out above their heads
Just found a dugout in my rental car glove box. Suddenly my mood is upbeat.
its great to know that you distinguish your relationships on whether you can cum on someone's face
we turned his baptism video into a drinking game
Apparently I fed my Plan B to my turtle last night.
Recent Google searches: "babu kangarooz"... "why 2 tacos bell" and "is dinosaur in real life"
Everything is fine now . The coast guard said we just can't take the inflatable trampling out past the break way anymore
Do you relize what downtown will be like this week? Like open season. But instead of deer its hot baseball players from all over the country that we'll never have to see again. I swear the college world series is a gift from god.
He purred while eating me out. HE PURRED AND I LIKED IT.
80% sure the drag queens carried her home
I made him laugh his dick is mine
A guy I hooked up with YEARS ago just endorsed me on LinkedIn for "customer service".
One day when i undoubtedly need an intervention please let it include lightsabers.
I think I can handle that.
Our livers get a hall pass for 2020, right?
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