if i wake u up at 5am tmrw by coming into ur room wearing nothing but my indiana jones hat and purple socks while singing 'courtesy of the red white + blue' will u be pleased or annoyed
keep in mind this isn't open to negotiation, i'm just trying to gauge ur reaction
So it's like pop-o-matic trouble, but with penises
dude. FULL moustache. it was like getting head from Tom Selleck
So, I just sold my textbook to have money for Plan B.
obviously you don't know the college version of myself. if there's something i'm ALWAYS willing to put up for it's alcohol.
Dude, somewhere around here makes 4loko slushies. I just decided coming home isn't so bad.
I consider myself an expert at getting drunk and embarrassing people at weddings.
Just successfully invited my mom to a drag show. If that doesnt say "im gay" then idk what will.
We were hunting our best friend with a BB gun in the backyard. I'd say the vaporizer was a worthy investment at this point.
A gay guy went down on me in the club bathroom and then fixed my makeup for me
its gonna be a great night
It turned from Netflix and chill to cringeworthy YouTube videos and chill. At least he's honest.
Did I tell you that I told him I deleted his dick pics and he almost started crying?
the girl next to me was drawing sonic the hedgehog on her exam what the fuck
godspeed
There are twenty eight units in that building. There has to be at least one heterosexual in it. You can't have fucked your way through all of it.
i'm pretty sure my brother is still drunk from last night. he's telling my parents that humans are at the top of the food chain for a reason and listing off all the exotic animals he would eat
Randomize
