If you think im a hippy you should see these girls. They would scissor mother nature if they had the chance.
That guy youre talking to looks like Brian from Family Guy.
I dinstinctly remember making out to "I believe I can fly" and waving my arms like a bird to the beat.
Some milfs here doing some blow
Dad?
i just heard Winston Churchill in auto-tune. thank you nerds.
I think it was our ex-neighbor Mike. He leaves Taco Bell outside our door a lot
He'll drop off his extra tacos at our place bc he's super high when he orders & can't eat them all
Omg considering I am covered in cake and probably cocaine that is the greatest news I have ever heard
scarred for life. way too high and witnessed some chick give a dude head on the dance floor
when you wake up try not to move. we are betting to see if more sprinkles stuck to you or the pong table.
Sorry I don't make house calls. You wanna get blown you come over here. It's like rock paper scissors but vagina ALWAYS beats penis
Never thought I would be taunted by little kids about my walk of shame
When he said he lived in a closet I thought he meant his room was really small or something... But he actually has a queen size mattress on the floor of his roomates walk-in closet.
HE CHOSE A RESTAURANT AND MADE A FUCKING RESERVATION. I AM SHOOK
why is there a thong in the fridge-NOT MINE-and a half of a pickle on the stairs?!
I don't wear thongs. The picle was for dipping. Ill explain later. Lacy or plain thong ?
just woke up and had to check if i still had pants on, i really need to stop drinking
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