If a fat man falls in the shower and nobody is in the apartment, does his pride still hurt? Answer: yes
yea ive hooked up with like half those guys
and i've hooked up with the other half...when our powers combine, we are captain slutbag
WHO ATE OUR COOKIES WHAT THE FUCK THOSE WERE GOURMET
i'm moving back early just in case the freshmen need a tour of the school
oh right the one that ends on your bed
I feel like shaving is just admitting i'm gonna do him, even though im still on the fence
shave. it'll take 10 min. Better safe than hairy.
I started drinking at around 8.. Started heavily drinking around 815.
My google searches from last night: tetanus shot rabbit bite, Bacardi gluten free
some chick tossed a drink in your face at the bar last night. your mouth was opened so i think you ended up swallowing at least half of it. good job.
I think i just threw up blood. i can't chill right now;
He was having a "party in the princess castle." At what point do I blindfold him and take him to AA?
I'd probably lick every tooth in Carly Rae Jepson's fucking mouth.
Teen Choice Awards are on if your wondering.
I've grown it out to 70s proportions. I'm calling it my chastity pelt.
I got so high that I ate a protein bar while in the shower. I then proceeded to leave half the protein bar and the wrapper on the ledge in my shower. Haha oh well.
I mean I'm completely serious and also drunk.
What a great combination.
I’ve jerked off three times and taken five shits already today. Being hung over in your 40’s is a fucking roller coaster.
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