A woman in the waiting room at the STD clinic told me that she is going to pray to jesus for my penis.
and people in Baltimore still get a bad wrap.
I swear that men would be more efficient if they had a semen gauge on their penises
i leave for school in 3 days. if you want your annual goodbye blow job you should probably call me
It's gonna be pretty hard to find a homeless person that takes crackers as currency.
im not sure. I kicked him in the ear last night trying to kick a plastic cup off his head to prove I can kick higher than anyone.
He caught a squirrel with his bare hands twice. Where do you find these people?
he just used "boss" and "boner" in the same sentence. I cant respond.
Dude she's famous. She's on an episode of campus pd. Can't not fuck her
Update: it wasn't just our driver. This ticket confirms that the Royal Oak PD also found our behavior on the party bus to be "Lewd and Indecent."
He called me on my way to the bathroom and told me he wanted to hear me pee my beers out... That. Drunk.
Technically my penis started a fight tonight
She wouldnt stop trying to stick her finger in my ass. I wish she wasnt so hot
After we'd both come, we started writing a book about dragons. Woke up this morning to a full English breakfast. Can't thank you enough for introducing us
Sometimes being bisexual is a curse. Turns out I banged both of her older twin brothers last summer.
I'm high on the exercise bike at the gym. I feel like Lance Armstrong
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