Well.. considering he unknowingly dated a prostitute, I consider myself the winner in that break up.
The one from last night got me a whole floor of Eskimo Brothers. There was a celebration of high fiving as I left
Kayla got stiches in her face. Rode in an ambulance shotgun. Tried to steal a baby, thought it was mine
Don't worry I drank 7 more beers & brought home a guy that bit me at the bar.
Everything's a blur with pockets full of jello
Any chance you used one if the curtain rods in the fireplace room as a sword? One is missing
I still can't believe that I ate McDonald's off of my chest in his bed...
Cross faded me is not the classiest.
No not at all haha I wish there was a picture of that
Just opened up the freezer to find chocolate penis popsicles. Too hungover for this shit
I feel like satan and death had a baby that took a shit that replaced my brain.
The fact that me being able to walk down stairs is an accomplishment in my books pretty much explains how I am
Blizzard, Hour 9: I'm 7 beers deep and have finished Ninja Turtles. I am listening to the NYPD and Nassau Fire Dept pipes and drums and writing new drum scores in my head, which I may or may not remember tomorrow
He's watching Always Sunny and eating refried beans straight from the can.
HE IS. YOU SHOULD TOUCH HIS BACK.
IT IS A COURTSHIP RITUAL.
THE MUTUAL BUTT TOUCH IS SACRED.
Hurry I'm alone dressed like a prostitute eating French fries.
So what happened at girls night? My roomate found me passed out locked out on the front steps of the house and it was raining. Yes low moment
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