If a girl is wearing Ed Hardy from head to toe, does that make her a douchebagette?
why does my vagina smell like weed?
omg thats a great idea
Going back to college after four years is reminding me why i love cheating... they dont let me cheat on tests but they sure try hard to make me cheat on my girl
Just wrote the directions to get to the girls house im hooking up with on the back of my marriage certificate. Officially worst husband ever.
sometimes i think my sole purpose in life is to cockblock my roommate
I'm using the size of your dick as a guage to see how big something is on Amazon. Any questions?
Makers Mark. Chicken nuggets in a blender. Smart
You kept yelling "wood grain wheel" and grinding on fat chicks.
The hell is wrong with me
We shot off some fireworks at 12 and then I orchestrated the group singing of god bless the USA all while wearing a don't tread on me flag as a cape. I repped hard.
I'm praying that the company stray cat shows up tomorrow. I think I may have hit it while leaving Friday. Nobody will believe it was an accident after I hit the last one.
Yeah to go race car driving with a 54 yr old gastroenterologist. I really wish you'd come to have that drink with me Wednesday
do i respond to the booty call for the guy with the bigger dick or the one who has the gourmet coffee i like so much? at this point i'm leading toward the coffee
You kept whispering to me that the guy making your burrito was an angel.
One of my favorite March activities is cropdusting people while wearing a kilt.
Why are we so out going and care free I can't wait for maturity to kick in so we stop having 700 dollar bar tabs
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