Bad news is im a slut again. Good news is its with people ive been a slut with before.
he sat in the bathtub shirtless yelling in gibberish for 40 minutes. funniest. stoner. ever.
This Casey James character from American Idol is really gonna mess up my sex life.
Or maybe the fact that you know who Casey James is will be what messes up your sex life.
I think his glow in the dark Star Wars sheets, at the time, really turned me on.
We had sex under a tree in his boss's backyard, then I hooked up with his best friend. I don't even care how I got home.
Apparently after awhile self preservation trumps libido. This is new news to me.
He's freaking out just because my cat licked his balls while he was fucking me
Ice that vagina down, get some coffee, and try not to walk with a limp. It's time to dominate, pull it together
So my nipple piercings were only $20 because it's breast cancer awareness month. Fuck yes!
He has what he calls a "Ben Franklin". It's a pubic hairdo based on the man himself; long on the sides and bald in the middle.
God, please protect all woman from micro-penises
He came all over her clothes we have to leave
I saw a penis covered in glitter tonight.
There were firefighters and a fire truck up the street. I asked what was wrong and their exact words were "Just a tiny explosion; it'll be all right"
It'd be good to change things up a bit, right now the only public service I'm doing from my apt is hanging out in my underwear with the lights on.
Randomize
