Pride was great cause we really can now appreciate how far we've come as gay people!
Doll, if you're still fucking strangers behind the WeHo Sonic while high on E then we've come as far as 2003...
"what do u think of parents raising kids to be peeping toms" said guy on bus 2 me
This is awkward. You have a four minute voicemail from me. I would delete it. I accidently hit your number on speed dial and called you while I was vomiting a mai tai.
Can u please come get me. My car keys are gone. Somehow I ended up sleeping in my trunk
In reality u ask do u have beer at your house but what your really saying is will there be cock in my mouth
this is why ugly people need low self esteem. it stops them from doing shit like this.
Bad behavior is like a petri dish that grows organically In my heart
The Medal of Honor you banged could be at the inauguration today. You really dropped the ball on keeping up with that one.
So... Really random... You know we only exist cause Dad misspelled 'perseverance', right?
I can't even spell what he said he was on. And I had to call 4 people before someone had heard of it.
He took me home and by the time I woke up after catching up on sleep I realized I accidentally put on one of his fiances socks. whoops.
I just used Bacardi to dry out poison ivy.
Drunk him got in a fight with his wife he literally bought a plane ticket and flew to Hawaii. He just called me and asked why I let it happen. From Hawaii hahaha.
Not my lover. I would rather lose all my teeth, and I fucking love my teeth.
I got conspiracy theory drunk.
Randomize
