I'm 3 blocks south of you watching drag queens.
had to ask my 13 year old sister if she knew any dealers... she did. it's good to be home.
Found a guy passed out on the coffee table with a thong duct taped from ear to ear.
Depending on hangover severity. The fact that I can spell severity is in your favor.
he's dressed up as pikachu 3 fucking years in a row and gotten laid each time. i don't understand
you're right. i am beautiful. like a May day. frolicking in a meadow of wildflowers. platinum in one hand. pipe in the other. that kind of beautiful.
You said that when your ex gave you a blowjob her mouth was like velvet
Shitty. Well if it makes you feel any better I just had a toothless wasted crackhead in my bar who was mad because there are TOO MANY FUCKIN TREES in Nantucket.
I do believe that seeing camel toe in leopard print pants at Walmart is the closest I will ever come to going on a safari
Duuuude someone spilled hot sauce all over the floor and trailing outside wtf
OH GOD IT'S BLOOD. THIS IS ALOT OF BLOOD.
Also...I'm semi-dating the drug dealer that took me to bible study
FUCK the WHO, FUCK cancer, I'm gonna eat fucking bacon.
I renamed some of my contacts in my phone before passing out and I have one I cant figure out, its "fucking house elf scum"
NO. NONE OF THAT. SHAME ON YOU.
Mike's letting gay guys do body shots off him again.
My boyfriend, ladies and gentlemen.
Randomize
