she complimented my bra when we were hooking up. this lesbian thing has its upsides
I'm just not sure how to initiate the "do you want to have sex with my boyfriend and I" conversation
just used clorox wipes to give myself a whores bath. hello finals week
Just realized the guy is in my class. Unless there's another guy that had half his ear bit off at a St. Patty's party
I wish they made people sized litter boxes.
Recycling day makes me feel more like an alcoholic than regular days.
All I've had today is a brownie and a shot of Jack, so you know. I'm doing ok.
Breaking into his house to steal the sheets I'd drunk pissed on before he got home was not how I wanted to be spending spring break
I found them. Thank God. Now I'm gonna have to take a Xanax for the panic attack I almost had trying to find my Xanax.
Sorry, fell into some ass. Call you tomorrow.
We ended up on their roof with our pants around our ankles shotgunning beers at one point.
At least his std test came back clean, gotta look at the positives here
Not as great as when your drunk mom grabbed my junk, but better than when your sober grandma sacktapped me and grabbed my butt.
Getting on a bus with a beer pong table. I am proof we can make this campus fun.
still drunk on my way to class to give my presentation on the negative affects of alcohol on the body. hell yes.
Randomize
