you won't ask to borrow his earbuds because you think it's gross, but you'll have sex with him?
Someone's playing Limp Bizkit out loud on the train. I think the decade reset it self.
You seriously don't know?He was trying to arrest you and you were shouting that you were being punk'd. Punk'd? that show got cancelled like 5 years ago.
Look at the bright side...I have an 11 inch penis
the realtor just asked me if i've ever made meth on this property.... i need to do something about my hair
since when did our medecine drawer and our sex drawer become the same drawer? we now have lube covered cough drops.
by "whatever happens, happens" i meant "we are totally hooking up again on tuesday." i thought that was obvious.
The picture that pops up when I call her phone is a picture of my nipple. Just so you're forewarned.
DON'T PUKE iN THE PRINGLES CAN, WHATEVER YOU DO!
Everybody posting sickening holiday couple pics and I'm over here deepthroating a bottle of whiskey.
I put the area codes from ludacris' "area codes" into our expensive data visualization software at work, it's been a productive day
Yeah I don't think your wife thinks it's a good thing that you're fucking your cousin.
My friends said as soon as you walked in, I motor boated you like there was no tomorrow.
Yeah, I liked it.
I woke up with pitch black feet and crushed doritos around my mouth. That's how I determined how my night went
that may or may not have been my penis.
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