The best revenge is premature balding
he was chasing shots of soco with fistfuls of my birthday cake
By getting ready I mean putting baby powder in my hair and possibly changing my pajamas to another pair of pajamas
I mean, he was my book buddy in 1st grade. The kid taught me how to read, the least I could do was give him head.
Thank god the bicycalist i hit was on drugs
Why isn't there a sort by hair color option on Facebook? It would make stalking much easier.
She tied her key to her bra the night before and couldn't get it off while trying to open the door this morning so she just took her bra off and let it tangle from the key while unlocking the door...the old Indian couple next door were shocked.
Somebody really needs to come home and pick up the used condom from the middle of the wood room floor. It's blue, if that helps decide who comes - uh, home.
I've never seen a dude bust out of his jacket and rock an air banjo like u
I left for five minutes and Chris wound up half in women's clothes, half naked. And the naked half was covered in shamrock stickers.
i'm pretty sure you can't sue someone for "Taking a shit on my kitchen floor."
Poor guy. Tried so hard to get out of the friend zone. I had to make out with someone in front of him to put him in his place.
I went to Christian school in the 90s. I can finger blast anything, but dignity.
oh you can't commit, don't have any real ambitions, and love to drink PBR? well.... sign me up!
You threw him in the dryer?
He went in of his own accord. Mumbled something about experiencing the blossoming of popcorn.
Randomize
