11:03 p.m. Whats a lie i you lovn me. Let's cuddle.
It's not real sex if he's just convulsing inside of you.
Tell her she's as useless as a condom.
Jesus wouldn't steal pop tarts. So why did you?
we got sick of 7 11 doubles so we made up a game where you just drink when anyone rolls a 5
thats barely a game just flip a coin
should we drink on heads or tails?
Why are there hot girls at the dollar store?
The recession has changed everything man.
So after i got done, she went over and got out her gecko, I felt like I was in an X rated geiko commercial.
well,he told me "i bet you five bucks that i can right cum on the mirror with my cum" i said alright do it, lets just say he's five bucks richer...
batman tramp stamp. Dibs.
your boyfriend is drunk and yelling to the bar that he loves his cats
I have come to the conclusion that if you don't fulfill your life ambitions you should go into porn
What's a "vodkaffle"?
It's where she puts vodka in the waffle mix.
I remember tearing his shower curtain down but I don't remember trying to shave my vag...
The next time you try to involve a tickle me Elmo in my orgasm, I'm leaving you
I'm on the couch watching HGTV googling giant boob Halloween costumes so life is swell
Randomize
