ya dads aren't the best wingmen
so we had a 20 minute conversation and created the fb page WWND (what would Nana do?) last night after we took our Ambien...that is my definition of an overachiever
Using pokemon references during sexual acts is always a good idea.
i just licked my manager on accident and i'm freaking out
she let a homeless guy feel her up so she could go for a ride in his shopping cart
Do you think I can wear the dress I went to jail in with the shoes I went to prom in to the wedding tonight?
I dont even think your gonna like what I got you for christmas. If not we can take it back and get drugs.
Noo.... Like in the attic of a crack house with nitrous and fat chicks weird....
the manischevitz sangria was a big hit
Even with help how did you paint a bullseye around your asshole?
She was blowing me like a porn star and all I could think was "you just told me your grandfather is dying in hospice right now"
Also your Swedish friend who's name I don't remember is really good in bed.
*Norwegian
I'm really excited to meet your new dude! But we really need to find out if he's your cousin first.
He’s going to a lawnmower race. I got a Brazilian and he’s racing a lawnmower race. Pick me up. I’m not wasting this waxing on John Deer
If the multiverse is real, would you screw yourself? I'd screw myself.
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