Its a bunch of hippies dancing in front of a stobe light. For ten dollars I could have gone to the strip club and at least had a lap dance
I blacked out in 45 minutes and woke up with a missed call from someone I saved in my phone as the karate kid.
We will have to stop frequently for food, stretching legs, interesting things on the side of the road, and sex. So you might as well eat.
The guy in front of me in Sociology is definitely working on my farm in farmville. Never met him before. Do I thank him?
We just described beer as "big boy apple juice" to his 2 year old.
What do I have to do to get you laid? I talked to that girl with the ugly dog for 45 minutes trying to get you in, and all you said was "Steven Spielberg is my favorite director."
But it's a terrible idea. One erection and it's gonna go wrong
Well, I convinced myself I had a sixth toe and then I ripped it off. So I PRAY you're doing better than me.
Whoa, I am aware of WAY too many squirrels right now...
7:26 bus just came. I am sweatier than Louie Anderson eating chili in a sauna
Just chugged a Bloody Mary in 60 seconds flat. New personal best! Happy Sunday!
if i dont text back till morning its cause i turned my phone off and changed my password to something i wont remember to stop myself from drunk texting...RESPONSIBILITY
I woke up to a stripper (who added me on Facebook) messaging me reminding me to cancel my card if I can't find it
too bad we didn't bet. my 38-1 tears would have made great lubrication for a blow job.
I woke up on some strangers couch covered in salad mix and oatmeal cream pies. The struggle is absolutely real.
Randomize
