I just dry heaved the smell of jagerbombs....which proceeded to make me hurl for real.
He just seriously used the word "skeet." Can we please find another way to get weed?
No. Take one for the team.
He told me to fart on his lap because the vibrations turned him on
I thought she was mad at me, but then we did a pose off and I realized we're friends for life
we used the bottom of a tampon for coke since no one had a 20 on them. My life has resisted to this.
Your ankle brace is here and the saw is charged. Grab some vodka that cast is coming off tonight.
'TWAS BUT A GLORIOUS SIGHT. BITCHES.
also new logic of mine : I fuck a Scottish kid , Scotland national animal is a Unicorn airgo I've come close to fucking a unicorns descendent, mother always said dreams come true
Before you started puking your brains out, you took a moment to give me the correct order of the Harry potter series
I wanna get high and watch Shrek tonight...don't make me do it alone.
I'm now at a gay bar with our relatives
Gary just stuck his dick in his Guinness. I can't even make this up
I had to put my dog down, accidentally outed my brother, and was given a fucking fish sandwich instead of a Big Mac ALL IN ONE DAY! Am I really the person you want to consult for advice? Hhhmmmmmm?
I ACCIDENTALLY MURDERED MY COUSIN
HOW DO YOU ACCIDENTALLY MURDER YOUR COUSIN
I cannot believe I am seriously having a conversation about my best friend's sexual prowess as a dream lesbian.
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