I'm 3 blocks south of you watching drag queens.
Just saw an old lady trip and stumble. Laughed. Kept Driving. I'm going to hell.
direct quote: "i'm so over my clit" either best or most awkward conversation possible with your COUSIN
Peach margaritas. And fuck whatever you're about to say, the girl to guy ratio is like 6:1. I need those odds
Some mysterious chinese delivery man dropped off 2 free egg rolls. Clutch
And in my birthday dress, with my friends, i peed on myself in line for the club. Still went in and partied. I remember pieces
Its like "fucckkkkk yooouuuuuu" is echoing up my esophagus
tequila?
yep
I'm studying for my midterm by watching porn with Spanish subtitles. Surprisingly the words are still really distracting..
When I see myself in tank tops and push up bras I seriously wonder why I'm not President.
Haunted Houses: fun, lame, or love to sneak off and get fingered in the dark alley way?
You don't know how badly I want to just hold you as a soup spoon holds a bisque
But don't thank me for faking being asleep, if I was the real wing man, I would have left the bed
are you still up? I want to use you for sexual things. you have 35 minutes to respond to this offer.
Maybe you should slow down tonight...
KINGS DON'T NEED ADVICE FROM LITTLE HORN-BILLS FOR A START
Well the cops were called after the kid fell, but we saw 4 cute guys from our window while it was going down, so it wasn't all that bad.
Randomize
