nothing tight i'm going to stuff myself with food and alchy
Is this a definitive no? All is forlorn? Such is fine, but i'm drunk and a sucker for concrete answers
Different chick, same blowjob, same parking lot.
apparently "preggers as fuck" isn't an appropriate way to describe someone...
I just celebrated my ex boyfriends birthday by having more sex than he will today.
Its official. I've reentered slutty territory. I was a condom away from having sex in a childs playhouse at a park. Oh and I lost my car keys.
I drove two hours just to throw up on myself today at the beach. My family saw the whole thing and my younger cousin cried
I've been asked to reupholster their slam-couch so I found some off-cuts of medical-grade, hermetically sealed fabric. She'll be slammed upon for generations to come.
Dont even get me started. you fell asleep in my kitchen after being cockblocked when you tried to use my roommates bedroom.
ARTHUR IS ON FUCKING NETFLIX THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
There should be a Doritos delivery van or something.
If everything else in my life fails, at least I just had one of my top orgasms
New holiday tradition. Eat all the Xanax in the am, then wake up later after festivities and eat all the leftovers
Oh you mean the girl that gave me a black eye when I told her I liked her fake eyelashes?
I'm either hallucinating or there is a dying cat outside my apartment....
Randomize