bahahaha. this guy working at subway literally has someone's name tattooed on his arm, crossed out, and another name below it.
I couldn't get internet on my iPod in this hotel room for porn, so I made due with UFC.
I'm not sure what to say to that.
I'm too hungover for some lady to talk to me about potatoes
Acid is not a monday night drug
I puked for half an hour, but I went and danced afterwards, and that made me feel better.
You are so irish.
No idea how he made them, but vodka water balloons were a horrible idea.
If by "in control" you mean him showing-up to work wasted, calling a customer a "fuckstick," and getting fired on the spot? Then yes, he is.
He blended the pizza with water and drank the whole thing. He is my hangover hero
I thought he was walking around the front. I just hit and run my booty call. I'm the worst non girlfriend ever
When someone comes out of your vagina and stomps on your dreams, you'll understand.
I didn't get a chance to take any pics but the mental snapshot of her boyfriend calling her directly after we finished was a really special moment I wish I could properly share with you.
This lady gave me four cups to go along with my gallon of daiquiri. Silly girl, all I need is a straw.
I kind of really want to call off the engagement but I kind of need his mom's mashed potatoes on thanksgiving so I'm between a rock & a hard place here
We walking to the game and some random guy came up to to me and yelled "hey you're the whiskey guy!" And then high fived me then walked away
I'm licking blood from my knuckles and I still haven't found my car keys..are you in town tonight?
Randomize
