The girl sitting next to me in class is writing her to-do list under the title 11/31.
Well I woke up with a note on me reading Dear Passed Out Girl, and ending with why I shouldn't drink so much. Damn Tequilla.
I did the seizure Bad Romance dance again last night, didn't I?
you were really good actually. your skill is increasing over time
Just made a photo collage of the girls I've hooked up with this summer. I'm patting myself on my back right now
hand shaped bruises on both boobs again....i wish i could say this is the first time.
and let me tell you something, handcuffs are surprisingly uncomfortable when they arent being used in a sexual manner
Drunbk and roasting marshmallows on my stove. Accidentally singed the catr's fur but she'sd alright.
Concert was great. Tackled the lead singer. Met him afterwards. He was cool about it.
how do you not remember that?! you winked at the bouncer and then proceeded to grind on him while chugging a beer. i don't know if i should be proud or embarrassed to be your friend
No, this place just freaks me out. Like I feel like ill get pregnant just being here. And all those pregnant bellies. It's weird.
Halloween is the end of the singles holidays they don't start again until st. Patrick's day we better get wifed up or it's going to be a long winter lol
I got bit by a peacock. That's how hard shit went down last night.
So pro tip. do not order drugs from india and then assume you know your tolerance level.
I made her pull the car over 5 times to puke because she was going to fast, apparently she was only going 30mph...
I I was gonna wake him up with a blow job but I don't know how he would feel about it.
Randomize
