dude why did you let me call her?!
i told you it was a bad idea and to quote you exactly, you said "no, it's a good idea..that's what people do when they love each other." you met her 15 minutes prior to that conversation...
Is there a "Plan B" app for my iphone?
Yeah. We was talkin. Its ok. My bed is too filled with pam for sex. Its like a slip and slide of butter product.
Even My mom was ashamed of me bringing her home, she pulled me aside, and told me i can do better than, "butter faces"
I don't think he understands what an important role his penis plays in my level of self esteem
He got drunk and insisted on licking my eyeball and called it a test of my trust in him.
My TA just came over to give us drugs. Now he's drinking grey goose with my roommate and explaining his thesis to her. This is too much.
I'll be there. With Doritos and whisky. Don't expect much more.
No Robbie is the name of a kid or dog, not an adult man who's fucking you.
I was looking at the storm clouds during my run and one oddly resembled ur penis
I found more straws in my beard this morning. Please stop doing that.
I had sex with him and I blame the Doritos
Ya, It's probably because whenever I close my eyes I see a kitten playing a banjo.
MANIFESTATION IS REAL AND IM GETTING LAID TONIGHT
We could just go to Vegas and celebrate my singlehood and not contributing to the population.
Randomize
