she pooed on me. she actually pooed on me.
no, its his 'welcome back from rehab' party.
the liquor store lady asked about three times if I was sure about buying two fifths of everclear. i told her I wanted to be on cops
I love how all these freshman girls think that they can wear what they wore last summer... freshman 15 at its skankiest
weed brownie and a latte, breakfast of champions
You guys crashed sarahs vespa into a snowbank and its still there. not cool.
There's a good chance a guy sucked off my right earring last night
you two really need to work out your issues. my vagina can't handle another week of your pent up frustrations.
I feel like having peed on eachother is a point in our lives we should never have gotten to...
I just watched a guy smoke weed through a French Horn. He is my hero
I owe you cheese. The drunk munchies don't acknowledge food ownership.
Yeah. It's just like I have his virginity and he has my shoes and where do we go from here.
Mom called last night while I was at the bar and asked where I was. I told her I was on the highway to the danger zone while the guys were humming the top gun theme.
I just asked my mom if I could be the drunk realitive at the reunion. She said as long as I'm not obvious.
where are my eyebrows?
Randomize
