oh my god I didn't know your sister was this good at french kissing
Ppl just aren't as funny as we are
the recession has oofficially hit my standards.
my roommate's gf just broke up with him and hes in his room crying and listening to coldplay while beating off to pictures of her...
Taking a shot for every status related to the patriots losing. Hello hospital.
I just remember thinking that if i ran really fast through the house, no one would notice i was naked.
My ex best friend's ex fuck buddy is visiting. There was no other option but day drinking.
HOW AM I SUPPOSED TO LOOK FUCKABLE IN AN ALL NEON SPANDEX JUMPSUIT?
He's yummy.
HE'S GAY. AND 40.
Irrelevant.
I just want to jump into a ballpool of dicks now.
I'm fighting fire with fire. When my parents interrogate me about what I was doing last night, I tell them the truth. Every disgusting, awkward detail. I'm 23 now and they need to get used to it.
Can an epipen be used as a tranquilizer ?
I mean it was fine and all but I just don't understand why a man would need all that Simon Cowell paraphanelia
so in other words, they broke and fell off and I ate a gummy life saver off of his balls
So we decided we're going to stop having sex...except for tonight. And probably tomorrow.
Randomize
