Our friend ended up naked, bleeding, requesting we throw a couch at him cause he was convinced he could block it
We did he did.
When I say naked, I mean penis exposed. Not in boxers
I guess what I'm trying to say is you've fucked more people than the economy.
Wow, So this kid just walked into class, yak'd on his lab partner then runs out. Class is now cancelled. I gotta find this kid and Thank him.
i can't believe i had a foursome before a threesome
i walked toward the cop car thinking it was the liquor store lights nd by that time it was too late to escape the trap
i feel like everytime i say im going to quit drinking someone comes along with a better idea about drinking
The look I see on guys faces when they realize my nipples are pierced remind me of when my mom used to come home from the grocery store and surprise me with poptarts.
Am I undercharging for one hour of sex per essay? I need a serious business answer.
I don't know if I want to cry scream puke or go somewhere and drink more. This is such a weird emotion.
Highlight of the week: I had sex with a B movie star wearing an eye patch.
It's a never ending cycle of men I've fucked knowing other men I've fucked. I need a new town.
We were fucking in the boat on the lake when another boat saw us and honked their appreciation.
In my defense I didn't know there was concrete on the other side of that fence when I tossed him over it.
You're both fucking idiots and this is why I should never let you two drink alone.
The FEDEX guy just cock blocked me by getting his van stuck in my driveway
I thought i was doing pretty well but I walked into my first class and everyone on my side of the room immediately asked how drunk and high I was
Randomize
