I told her at least we still had each other. That's when she started crying.
before you smothered your pizza in mayo you blotted it with a napkin saying you were trying to watch your fat intake
They're sharing a mixed drink at a bar with straws...its like a disney movie with booze
just because she threw up on my junk doesnt mean i dont like asians anymore
you know it's gonna be a good 4/20 when you start saving up for it in january.
I feel like I'm going to get the reputation of being the girl who brings her dog with her to all her random hookups.
somehow this went from sexting to explaining my eating disorder.
The DJ was throwing glowsticks into the crowd and managed to smack one guy in the face with them
Dude. You dropped to your knees and face planted into the rocks. And continued to talk on the phone and laugh. That's where those cuts came from.
I mean if you can't appreciate a good looking dick then just get out.
Why do I like him? He literally has no redeeming qualities.
I just found weed in my bra #magicboobs2k16
just used my $120 dollar stats book for the first time to kill an ant... good thing i stole it
Turns out I made out with a woman dressed as a unicorn here 10 years ago
Your shit was massive.
I'm not 100% sure how to respond to that.
If you were in a "who has the massivest shit contest", you'd win by a landslide.
Randomize