Why are you such a perv today?
This is a lot to handle
Oh shh
I'm kidding you prude take a joke
Apparently every Tri-Delt knows what I did and I am blacklisted from ever dating anyone in that house.
Well ya you lied, told her you cared, took her virginity and then broke up with her at Christies Toy Box.
I honestly thought the dildo was a nice parting gift.
I saw his package. It spoke to me.
sitting in class between the roommates of the two girls i fucked over break. this feels like a bad version of wife swap
i didnt mean to paint the dog... it just kinda happened
...Then she just started hitting me with a loaf of bread.
Ps I don't think it counts as being open minded if you didn't know he was missing a leg until you had already started making out.
He has a clip art-style heart tattooed on his hip. I hated him way before I saw his tiny dick.
I WANT MY VAGINA TO POUND AT NICE THINGS.
I'm not entirely sure how getting 'house drunk' turned into us getting trashed, being serenaded by karaoke and going out. But it needs to happen again.
Apparently I blamed my BAC on the Saint Louis Cardinals...how is that not a valid excuse?!
This band has the most fuckable violin player I have ever seen.
She's not answering my calls
Well it sounds like you really fucked up
WHO HOLDS A GRUDGE OVER MEMES
can you tell me why i woke up in a diaper and combat boots?
I'm at work behind the bar and just washed my mouth out with rumple bc I don't have a toothbrush. This may be a new low.
Randomize
