PS - I'm in bed with an 18 yr old-am I a cougar?
No - puma.
Is it bad that your cum tickles when I swallow it?
Literally passed out while tubing... Boating while hammered is a blast but thank God for life jackets
you think she would figure it out that ever dude that fucks her is just doing it bc they are in a contest to bang the fattest girl
After much deliberation I've decided to name my penis "Arthur", hope your mom's surgery goes well.
The sex I just had was not worth missing a girls night out.
First day of class and I'm in a bar drinking pitcher #3. Foreshadowing?
I told him I had AIDS after he bit me. His dad cried. I think I just ruined the little guy's 3rd birthday, but he had in coming.
Dude, I just had the best sex of my life in a porta potty at the NCAA girls lax championships but didn't get her name or number. But I have her sunglasses. How is this possible, I'm sad.
I love your life.
. Drop what your doing. Were going to Knoxville for midget wrestling. It's the championship.we can NOT miss this.
I used the light from the first guy's text notification to be able to snapchat the second guy in the dark. I am too good at juggling guys.
Did you just tell me you watch cartoon porn because it's more real?
My bookbag can hold 30+ beers. They shoulda put that on the tag bc its a big selling point
Nothing much. Just taking shots of tequila before I go get a bikkini wax. You?
When you puked on me I said to you "we will just say that you threw some mostacholi at me"
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