There's a technique?! I just slide my tongue around
a small fire erupted but we put it out with a can of beer so everything's fine
do you think I can still get an erection if I donate blood today? this is important.
some bitch filled my sink with salsa.
Wow that was a lesbian tornado.
I stuck a note to his door with my gum explaining why i couldn't spend the night. as i was walking away, he opened the door...i fell down and played dead. deffinitly didn't see me.
So you think it's my fault? I didn't give you the 10 shots you took nor make you eat the brownies we made... btw, i found your engagement ring, it was in the last brownie you wouldn't let me have while dragging me to my room.
A kid in my class today just asked if we have class on the 17th, then announced that he couldn't go anyways because it was the day after his 21 and he was going to be too hungover
am i new drunk or am i still drunk
I'm not gonna lie. The thing I miss the most about him right now is the air conditioned hotel rooms.
I just want to give face wipes a shout out for being there when im too tired or high to wash my face at night
You drunkenly said something along the lines of "move forever" to the lady standing in your way. Needless to say you had too many mimosas at breakfast.
i knew my hormones were back to normal when i went to ikea and didn't want to fuck any of the workers
so horny i almost want to text him..and then i remember the restraining order i have against him
I just wanna go home jackoff, eat chicken fingers, drink beer, play halo and go to bed. I'm sick of this shitty school, the shitty kids and having to fucking teach them.
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