so i woke up thsi morning with a phadora on my head, no shirt and a huge hangover? want to help me figure this out?
I've been reduced to Capt. Morgan and Golden Girls reruns. Ugh.
i dont care about people's attitudes as long as they give me head
Come find me please? Im in a ditch.
That doesn't help me much...
I'm right under the moon!
i walked outside and you were driving up the stairs to her apartment
I have stripper ass cheeks all over my glasses
I'm sorry, you might have to start setting aside some time in your day for my pussy.
Should have know they were on something when he started filling a Togo container with fruit
Below this exterior of ice is a layer of cum. Followed by a pool of gin. More cum. Then, finally a heart.
How do I tell my hairdresser I want a hair style I saw in a porn video?
These beer shits have taken over my entire life.
Oh, btw, UPS might come by. Drunk me ordered us $75 worth of gummy airhead starburst type candies. Whatever it is, it'll be delicious.
I'm officially disproving the fact that a hoe never gets cold bc this hoe is COLD.
We decided it was a good idea to go streaking through the campus. Everything was fine until the sprinklers turned on and we realized the keys were in his pocket.
Woke up this morning with a plate of ravioli in my bed. Who says being single can't be fun?
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