I kept pulling the $1 bills off the stage and told everyone "no no no she has to work for this money"
I'm pretty sure I just had a convo with my hot pockets about how they weren't good enough for the oven.
Hey do you have a way to post bail? If not we can hook you up. If a police officer is reading this please ask him and respond in a timely fashion. I am concerned for my imprisoned friend
How am I suppose to fully love you when you cant even open up and try to fulfill my midget fantasy
At one point I went looking for you and found you handcuffed to a chair. I'm pretty sure you handcuffed yourself. I don't know how you got there.
Shots and making dong molds for my gf's friends. Typical Monday night activities.
Well it involved jumping two nine foot fences. But when you mix alcohol and persistence you can't lose.
I vaguely remember making out with his tattoo (?) and giving him an awesome massage and then I passed out on his floor. Shrug
I'm drinking wine from the cap of my laundry detergent container, wearing my bed sheet as a cape. How do you think I'm taking it?
She wants to go as a facebook "like" for halloween, but right now her costume looks more like the hamburger helper hand with broken fingers.
So apparently Facebook just randomly finds the girl who gave me a hard handy despite having no mutual friends...
His phone started ringing when we were pulled over and he said 'hold on, this is most likely more important than you', proceeded to answer it and agree to work sunday, then hung up, looked at the cop and told him to continue.
There is sex in the air. Be careful where you walk.
So were driving two hours to go to a club and Charles packed me a sippy cup full of tequila. He thinks of everything!
Right after i got done cumming i sat back and gave a big Ric Flair "WOOOOOO!"
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