I'm almost 25, which means I can ride with girls that have permits
Just to clear things up. I did not walk in on him jacking off to your facebook profile.
He just asked me to pee through my panties while he watched. I might need more tequila for this one.
Just remembered seeing jalepenos in my vomit last night. Reminded me to thank you for sharing your queso with me. You're a good friend.
Highlight of the night: paying my cell phone bill at the bar... I need to get laid.
At our floor meeting the RA was talking about bathroom hygiene and I really wanted to be like "what about shower sex."
Valid question
He asked us to wake him up with a strobe light. We had it going in front of his face full power for half and hour and he didn't even blink.
I mean, I already put pants on today. We're already halfway there
Last night I went outside to our neighbors and asked them to put in money with me to get a hot tub for our patio. Niceeeee
I'm worried about how taking care of my mom's dog while being on acid will go.
They say find what you're good at... Evidently that's showing up late for everything, drinking, and eating cheese for me.
Im going to the gym...covered in the Brazilians cum
And how is that different than any other weeknight in your world
I wish I was there so i could bitch slap his incredibly sexy face
I bought him flowers and fake vampire fangs, cuz there's really not a greeting card that says "Sorry I got wasted last night and started a very sloppy bloodletting ritual.".
Haha word. Sure I can do that. Help me find which bar has my pants and you'll get free tacos all week
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