Do you ever make guys send you dick pictures just cause it's hilarious?
It's a pity Stephen Hawking can't do sarcasm.
Do you know how hard it is to conceal the fact that you puked all over the bed that someone is sleeping in?
I am in the checkout line at the dollar store and there is a guy in front of me holding a pregnancy test, a chocolate bar, and fake roses. Champion.
Because ur a stupid bitch
Actually, I'm graduating from college on Saturday so that makes me a well educated bitch.
He just lit his joint with the tiki torches around his pool. He is definitely coming to my future parties
If i had 4 hands right now is have booze in 3 of them and my cock in the other all because you went to denver. just sayin.
Rule #127: If your going to try fuck a married guy, you gotta be hotter then his wife; diet starts today.
his teacher called to say he gave a girl on the playground a rock to touch his penis. proudest moment of my fatherhood
he got all sad that i was going to fuck his roommate, so i just asked him if it would make him feel better if I let him motor boat me. i am such a saint.
Let the record show that the first hour of my twenty-first was spent shooting tequila ans discussing the emotional integrity of werewolves.
Where are you in relation to the mariatchi band?
i think im in europe. pls send help
Is it bad that I like to have a guy to flirt with in every class? I feel like it's excellent motivation: to shave, to shower and to show up.
I didn't mean that as an expression. I'm literally asking if you want to watch Netflix and do nothing.
Randomize
