when im bored during the day i often think, what do people who dont get high do with their day.. i came to the conlcusion that everyone must be getting high
Wow, you know I need to stop drinking alone when I pour my drink into my hand and offer it to my dog,
We were making out in the bushes when some dude comes and starts peeing beside us.
I love taking my adderall while im in class! As soon as I take the pill out everyone around me just stares in envy!
Just got to school and somone already mentioned the amount of cereal im carrying.
You just begged me to mute the porn and watch her ass bounce while listening to dubstep the whole time.
i am way too old to be getting fingered at work
Come to me. Jacob is confessing his love and all I want is a hot dog. With chili. Not love.
I'm going out w/ her for her b-day in a bit. I just talked to one of her drunk friends on the phone who asked if I could "handle 7 lesbian." This could be interesting.
Woke up in time for my 8:15
Good for you I'm impressed
I realized 10 minutes in it was a class from last semester
Trying to find a card for this engagement party. Can't find one that says "you met each other 5 months ago, cant wait to get the popcorn out and watch this one fall apart"
Watching a guy masturbate in real time is a lot less theatrical than porn had me to believe.
He walked into me masturbating to a framed picture of Bill Murray riding a t-rex
its 8 and I'm HUNGOVER!! how is that possible??
Apparently when you start crushing adderall and blending them into your margaritas calling them blenderalls you have "a problem" WTF
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