Dude I got a text from you at 1:30 last night and you didn't use any vowels
Haha, I didn't want to buy any... we're in a recession you know
I think my emotional moodswings have reached a new low. I cried for the entire duration of changing my tampon.
it was like eating out sand paper
There is a guy standing at my bar right now wearing an affliction SUIT. I can't wait on him.
Mid thrust he tells me that we have bio together
just googled chastity belt to see if it really exist..
It's almost like sex with her has gotten boring... like it's still good, but the creativity is lacking... it's times like these that i wish she still wanted me to gag her
Man the liquor store just wrong numbered me, its a sign even god wants me to drink
We won't have time to talk.. I'll be rolling you a blunt and you'll be getting naked.
Worst case scenario, I put a giant cork in your vagina so you don't give birth before my birthday
She waited 7 months to break out her comicon costumes. I was only mad it took her so long. I fucked an elf last night and strawberry shortcake the night before!
I approve. Last time I was there, I left E's room to get a drink of water. Found M sitting on the kitchen counter in his boxers hammered and eating a banana. He proceeded to feed me the rest of his banana then went to bed with the lights on. You two will be great.
I think your high point was when the quesadilla was in your mouth and you were screaming "I can't chew!" and the Taco Bell guy just kinda stared at you like he wanted to strangle.
I just had all of the sex. All of it.
My books smell like weed. What does that tell you about my college experience?
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