No it only became awkward when she walked in with her new boyfriend and we realized we'd all banged her
i now have a sippy cup solely for the purpose of drinking alcohol out of...am i an alcoholic?
Just took a beer bong out of snuffaluffagus's trunk. Your move
We walked in and found his glass coffee table broken and you in the bathroom throwing up saying "What a bad first impression."
No, you dont understand, he literately fucked me into a new hairstyle, quite nice too.
I promise a much better performance tomorrow than last night my penis has a bed time
I don't even want to think about the kind of person who would shit in the street before 10pm on a Sunday.
He's coming over, and I hope he doesn't get hungry. I'm sure its not proper protocol to bring one booty call to another booty call's house for the munchies.
I found an HIV test/information brochure on the kitchen table and what i can only assume to be an "I'm sorry you might have AIDS" gift bag, complete with a candle and popcorn, and I haven't seen you in 36 hours. You good?
So both cops helped talk her into coming back into the bar and doing a shot with me. The main argument being, "a bar is no place to be sober!"
Paying for my weed with Mike's hard lemonade freezables. The perks of having a gay dealer
Drugs are gluten free tho, right?
All the movies on cable here are either porn or Bollywood. I am never leaving this hotel.
The man built me a fort. Of course he got laid.
He gave his liver a pep talk before the vodka chugging started
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