she was talking to me but i could help but stare at the extremely long hairs on her boobs. then she says, "your looking at the hair on my boobs aren't you"
the choice between paying your electricity bill and getting herpes medicine is a tough one.
The reason i havent seen you yet better have huge tits
Then I received a text in French, that roughly translated to "all you'll ever be good for is sex on the Internet"
She came back in her actual cheerleader uniform. Made a bad bj tolerable.
Sorry for drunk singing "love hurts" to you at 3 am.
She called him at 5 AM so that he'd be ready for her birthday breakfast and drinks at 6. This is why people don't need to wait until their 21st to have their first drink.
Dude. All those hangovers I never had came back with a vengeance. I just opened the door of this car to barf. The car was not motionless. We are on the autobahn.
I told him he was a man of science and that he should conduct experiments on my tits to see how they stay up. I need you to hold onto my larynx when I'm drunk.
Bake him heart shaped cookies?!? Send him a picture of your tits like an ADULT!
Right now I'm in a club where they are passing out glow in the dark dildos by the dozen. I don't think my life will ever get weirder than it is at this moment.
we had a "who's sex playlist is better?" fight.....
Everybody posting sickening holiday couple pics and I'm over here deepthroating a bottle of whiskey.
Please don't bang more than two exes at a time, just so I won't get confused.
Are there rules against fucking your ex's dealer?
Randomize
