some old guy just shit himself in my section. everyones leaving
I'm a gentlemen, chivalry is what i do, i'll open the door, pull out your chair, buy your drinks, i'll even go down first, but when it comes to mario kart, i draw the line. I'm sorry but i just can't let you beat me at mario kart
my shit smells like andre
She threw up everywhere and is crying about a fictional character who died on Grey's Anatomy
I just gave head in the laundry room on campus. He said it was one of the best moments in all of history. Take that, neil armstrong.
it's like a walk of shame rule, you always run into someone who saw you wearing that yesterday
She asked the taxi driver to stop at the Texaco because she had to puke. She did then stumbled into the gas station and bought a 40.
Not even desperate vagina wants small cock.
Glad to hear you raised your standards
I'm tired of stuffing my fat into a slutty costume. Next year let's go as homeless girls. Cute ones. In leggings with camel toe.
Im gonna wear a random assortment of things for Halloween, guy with the most creative answer gets laid
In the mean time, I'll continue to kick ass at running and become a successful stripper while he might hook up with one average looking girl he met at a club. I so win.
I'm either a high functioning alcoholic or I'm making the most of the fact that this is the last year that its socially acceptable to be black-out drunk five days a week.
Oh great. I guess I'm second on that list now that we've confirmed she's not a lesbian AND that was her sister.
he kissed both of us goodnight when we dropped him off...I didn't know if I was more offended or impressed
Make a note to pack something that won't catch shell casings in your cleavage
Randomize
