first i yelled "you cant get it up?" and then in the middle of it i opened a Corona
Picture Ja Rule and 50 Cent having a sexy full grown love child son...He's on my bus right now, wearing an outside jacket with no shirt underneath. My fashion sense and libido are fighting it out.I'll keep you posted on who wins.
I was actually kinda bummed my STD test came back negative.
That would have been proof he'd slept with the stripper. Lame.
How come I'm the only one who's around when people show up? I had just taken a shit, I wasn't wearing pants, phantom of the opera was playing and the fridge said PENIS.
Just did the walk of shame across state lines...milestone?
He just "revenge puked" on her kid. I think we'll be leaving soon.
NEVERCLEAR, NEVER AGAIN.
you know I love you but I need to see your friends tits
after she rolled over and said 'i'm so glad you're like my gay best friend, love you' then left. did i just get friendzoned AFTER sex??
Rule number one to being a good adult: don't use your vagina as an icebreaker. Just some wisdom I thought I'd pass down from experience.
My liver and my bank account can't afford another all nighter. Help.
He said he didn't want to go down on me so I told him we were going to have an oral stalemate.
All his ex-girlfriends are delicate flowers, tho. And I'm like a trash compactor.
I wouldn't worry about it. You know what they say, THICK THIGHS MAKE THE DICK RISE.
Mom said it is up to us to plan Thanksgiving. Hooters or Scores?
Or???
What happened lastnight it looks like I had sex with edward scissor hands....my back is so messed up
my bad i broke a mirror over your back
Randomize
