I realized that I've made out with a different boy almost every time we've gone to mcgoreys....I don't need a boyfriend...I have that bar
The best part was that when i tried to chase her she ran off in one of those barbie motorized jeeps that little kids use and i chased her on a big wheel, thru lincoln terrace
there is a priest convention in the hotel. i feel like god is laughing at me.
im stripping for him via video chat, but the sound is turned off cause his students are taking a test
Getting a high five from your dog when you're stoned is one the greatest rewards of being a pet owner.
aw he's cute...not in a i wanna rip his clothes off way more of a put him in my pocket and keep him as a pet
And occasionally lick whipped cream off them abs
Exactly.
oh good. ive just found out that i went downstairs at 6 am still blacked out and had a 30 minute conversation with my mom about the different ways to feed our dog
The bride says you won't want any of the single ladies...
Let's let the open bar be the judge of that.
I'd like to say yes, but I nearly lost my shit when I assumed there was no back to my house. I am not strong enough for hallucinations.
You better buy her a motherfucking bunnyrabit to make up for this. And me footsie pajamas for being a cockblock.
Hahaha she was way into you and you kept arguing about burritos. It was amazing.
I did a kegel this morning to determine if I had been penetrated during last night's blackout. Nope.
People who don't like drugs and guac are not people I chose to associate with
Ive got small boobs, but they sure do like to pop out and party with the big dogs.
What use have I for dignity? It just get's in the way of the really fun stuff.
Randomize
